


Honesty's Worth (Paradox 2.0)

by White_choco0



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Angst, Attempted Kidnapping, Dehumanization, F/M, Kidnapping, Lies and Schemes, Major Original Character(s), Mommy Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poisoning, Rivalry, Romance, Sort Of, We here go again, alright
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-01-29 06:04:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21405394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/White_choco0/pseuds/White_choco0
Summary: Can you forgive?
Relationships: Levi & Reader, Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin)/Reader, Levi/Reader
Comments: 28
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Buckle up

The scent of scrumptious delicacies, appetizers, and entrees wafted throughout the dining room, expanding to territory beyond the vicinity and doing little in concealing the luxury in the meal alone. It was every bit elite class, from the decor to the paintings spanned across the ceiling and the finely dressed individuals that surrounded the obnoxiously long table.

You sat, listening to the ever continuous chatter of your _loving_ mother whose ideas were expansive as the Pacific sea. In the brief moment she turned her gaze to longingly abscond into the fantasy image in her mind, you faced your fiance across from you and shared a brief glance oozing of exasperation.

His keen eyes watched on, steely blue rings tracing the foolishly giddy gesticulating of the older woman. It seemed she bagged most of the excitement for the hastily approaching ceremony as neither you, nor your father, nor your brother, nor Levi---your fiance---seemed as madly interested as she was.

Your brother watched on in amusement, no doubt deriving some kind of sick fun from witnessing the dire situation you and your partner were prisoners to. It was the umpteenth time your mother consulted with you in regards to trivial decorations;

"-and what about the doilies dear, what color should they be? Do tell your opinion on silk or cotton" she urged, observing your vexing speed at which you set your fork down and brought a napkin to dabble upon your tinted lips.

Only after having laced your fingers under the table did you provide her with an answer, "I'd say coral mother, and cotton will do-" you knew not why you even gave input as she always interjected and decided on her own plans.

She looked incredibly offended as if you just soiled her precious gown with mud-caked soles, "Coral!?" She exclaimed in disbelief, "Coral!?" This time she sounded breathless as if your suggestion had the equivalent effect of a blow to the stomach. Your mother then looked to your father who seemed to perk up from the sudden change in volume, "Can you _believe _your daughter? All those years of teaching, gone to waste!" She cried.

From the corner of your eye, you spied Levi rolling his eyes subtly and would have giggled if you weren't in the presence of your family. Your father hummed, undulating his head as if in disbelief to appease your quickly debilitating mother. Your brother followed suit, going along with your mother's irritating antics and saying, "Silly booger, you should know better than to opt for such drab colors" he told you.

And he received the praise, called the precious son with real tastes who knew what he was doing. Your mother was quite the character you decided. She turned to you, helpless little you, "My my," she began with an oh so troubled shake of her head, "gold and of silk it will be! You have a long way to go, honey, before you can call yourself an accomplished woman"

This remark would've bitten into your insecurities any other day, but after experiencing year after a long year with the very demanding woman, her words had the effect on you that rivaled that of a kittens claws on your flesh. You would have argued but knew better than to trouble her nerves, the poor woman would be unable to sleep if you further pried the situation.

You would later check-in with your fiance and tell him if he was to order gold doilies, it'd better be a dye that composed the hue to those useless decorations. As the conversation winded to your wedding dress, you felt winded down despite only sitting and eating. It seemed as of late, her conversations had been more effective in wearing your energy away. Surely and steadily.

It was moments like these why you wondered the point in bothering yourself with thinking about a wedding you weren't even planning. You, after all, would only be attending whilst saying a few things and signing.

In tonight's dinner, two things were accomplished---first, your mother decided on the theme to be white and gold and second-

"I'll be excusing myself," said Levi, patience thinned so severely he had decided to leave long before dessert would be served. It was especially strange since tonight it was made very apparent his favored tea would be part of the treat.

Your father nodded, fully understanding the man and bidding him a good faring, "Have a pleasant rest son, I'll send for some tea to your quarters before you turn in for the night"

Levi bowed in gratitude, expressing his goodwill to your father, brother, and with disinterest to your mother. He finally looked at you and bid you goodnight. You returned the favor and waved him goodbye. With a tired sigh, your father set down his utensils and stood as well, "I'll be retiring to my chambers as well, goodnight dear, son, and daughter"

"Rest well, father" you smiled, watching the retreating figure of your elderly father leave the room. You don't blame him for his haste since you followed almost instantly. "I'll also be receding into my chambers, enjoy the rest of your meals, brother, mother" you smiled pleasantly and stood. Bowing your head and with the comical speed on par with a racehorse, did you leave the pair alone.

You sped away to your chambers, climbing the grand staircase and disappearing into one of the many doorways. Your bedroom was on the opposite wing of Levi's wing, ensuring you both were well apart at a 'modest distance' as your mother had put it. You didn't mind at all but it was her ever-consistent nagging which ignited a hearth of annoyance from you.

Did she think you'd be so indecent? Had she so little trust in her ability to raise you that she believed you'd jump at the first chance to stray from your teachings?

The absolute nerve!

You huffed in a well-concealed fit, entering the privacy of your soothing space. Any attempt to aid you in discarding the confines of your daywear was waved away, maids gone in the blink of an eye only after running a bath. Eyes hardly flitting to your body reflected in the mirror, you quickly made your way to the warm, fragrant water. It swished around your submerging body, encompassing you in a hug of warmness and rose aromas. Who would have thunk a measly bath would suffice in quelling the chagrin you'd been subjected to earlier this evening.

Diligently, you rid yourself of any perspiration and grime that might've accumulated over the day, scrubbing away until all that was left was clean, glistening flesh and the acquired sensation of impeccableness stinging beneath the surface. Into your hair, you weaved your nimble fingers and scrubbed from the roots to the tips, allowing the dampened locks to fall into individual compact strands.

Suds surrounded you as you poured your favored ointment all over your skin, its scent clinging to your flesh much to your delight. After ensuring every inch of you smelt divine, you wasted the minutes plopped in the tub. You knew not how long you spent lounging and relaxing, only removing yourself reluctantly from what was quickly becoming cold water. Two hours you guessed, two hours of being utterly mortified from your mother's conduct towards Levi. Your hands, possessed by the upsetness elicited by the sheer ludicrousy of the earlier events, roughly snatched your nightwear from beside the basin.

Into the sleeves your arms slipped, permitting the night gown's fresh smoothness to glide down your form. You grabbed your brush and began gingerly untangling the knots who gallantly maintained their stubbornness, efforts vain as they met their ends eventually. Amidst your preparations for bed, there came in the form of a knock, an interruption.

It persisted before it even allowed you to call for a name, pound followed by pound. You glanced at the small clock on your bedside table, eyebrows wrinkling in wonder as to who would want to address you this late.

You stood, pulling a thin shawl over your torso and wrapped your arms around your front. Upon reaching the door and taking hold of the cool brass handle, the knocks ceased in eery haste. You frowned but nevertheless proceeded to pull from its frame the door, baffled as a body nearly barreled in.

You wanted to protest, but a swift finger sealed your lips, a familiar face pressed so close to yours as a larger hand enveloped yours and quickly made little of the distance from the ajar door. It shut with a click, followed by the clamor of the lock being set in place and you were ready to throw this daring individual out had he not begun first.

"Tch, hurry up next time, if I had gotten caught your old man would have tried to hang me," Levi shook his head at you, as if you were the one at fault.

You gawked in utter disbelief, awed at the gall of the man to come into your room, and to make matters worse than in purgatory, during the hours of the late-night! You breathed in, genuinely concerned, "Levi, we cannot be alone in a room before we are married. What kind of words will be spoken of me if anyone finds out you were here, in such unholy hours too."

"That's only _if_ they find out, besides, we're not doing anything indecent," he argued, quickly donning a wicked smirk, "unless you'd like to change that-"

"The nonsense you spout Levi," you huffed, returning to combing your hair, "this is as indecent as it can get, I don't understand what you mean by 'changing that'. Nevertheless, tell me, why have you sought me out, surely you understand the risks of this situation?"

"I needed to talk to you," he said, coming closer but you shooed him back to the chair which was part of a set in your bedroom. Regardless of your adamant desire to maintain a modest distance, he breached your personal space and seated himself beside you on the bed.

You were several shades of red from the proximity at which he sat, shawl fastened tighter to your frame as you hid behind your hair. He was silent for a while, the nervousness from this daring scenario insufferable to you. Hence you urged him so that your inner troubles could be quickly diminished, "What troubles you? Have I done wrong?"

He shook his head, taking a strand of your still-damp hair and coiling it over his digits. Levi spoke with a pensive countenance, "You had nothing to do with it. What your mother spoke of earlier," it seemed remembering had elicited a foul taste in his mouth for he grimaced noticeably. After his apparent loathing of the dinner scene, he continued more serenely, "I'd like you to know that in my eyes, you are more woman than any of those pompous *fairies who call themselves 'accomplished'."

"Oh stop!" You hummed, covering your visage at his words, "If you insist on using such sweet words I might melt..." It was incredibly comical to witness the stoic face of your fiance leak such honey-laced words. You smiled behind your shield of tendrils, listening to him intently.

"I only say such things when they're true." He told no sailor's tale, it seemed only that when he wasn't trying, the best phrases came from him. You had the unfortunate experience of listening to him attempt to be more socially gracious. Those were dark times you rather would not reminisce upon, even if they had the hilarity to force you to your knees from the laughter.

After reinstating your composure, you turned to your counterpart and smiled wryly, "You needn't worry about what mother tells me, I'm quite used to it. I cannot say the same about your patience towards her character, however."

"She quite enjoys to test me" he admitted without inhibitions, you could not pin any blame upon him. It took a very finely built up understanding and tolerance to live with the woman. Levi was incapable, however, of ever coming to understand or tolerate your mother. You see he, ever the high strung individual, could never, in his own words, understand an idiot or tolerate their antics.

"She does that oft with anyone" you corrected. "And for that, I mean to apologize on her behalf, I am certain somewhere in her head there is some sort of voice of reason, but it is overwhelmed by what _she_ believes is important." You so badly wanted to place your trust in your statement, hoping it held some kind of truth at the very least.

"Don't apologize, she can be annoying but it's not like you're at fault for that" he dismissed your apology, withdrawing his fingers and depositing his hand flatly over the mattress surface.

You softly shook your head, a bit weary for what you were about to admit, "I-" you began but any words or thoughts that had been careening in your mind seemed to diffuse into thin air and you turned up empty-handed. Levi gave you a moment as you licked your dry lips, contriving again the courage to speak. Steadily you did so, pouring your innermost thoughts that returned at a leisurely pace, taking his hands in yours, "My apology does not spare her behavior only, it is this marriage that she has so suddenly thrust unto us. I know you wished to enjoy our courting period longer," you breathed, eyes shifting to the nightstand as you clutched his palms a little tighter, you continued with a release of a sigh, "which is why I can't fathom a reason why you so readily agreed to this hasty arrangement..."

No immediate reply came, it was anticipated, Levi after all only spoke calculated words as much as he cursed, which was always. However, it was a sliver of unprecedented tautness in his form that drew your attention immediately to him. You eyed the man curiously, but nothing was out of the ordinary in his person.

Had you imagined it, the short-lived fidget?

"It was bound to happen regardless, marrying you that is," he replied, "and it was the most logical conclusion I could come to."

You tilted your head in wonder, blurting a "Pardon?"

"Well, I've been away from my estate far too long, it's high time I return and doing so without you would be impractical" he explained and you gapped in hesitant understanding, nodding. Although it had made perfect sense, he was a busy Lord, his duties would make it impossible for him to come forth and back to meet you.

"O-oh, I suppose you are right" you vocally agreed. Your mind was still on the twitch of his body, Levi never did fidget after all but it's not like you could ask something so foolish. You tried to conjure up a thought or two as to why you had thought he would express a form of nervousness. Likely you were just tired. Your eyes roamed to the clock on the bedside table and frowned, it was nearing midnight and the longer he stayed, the higher the chances of him being caught increased. You stood, tugging your Lord's hand, "Now that we have that settled, I believe it is time for you to return to your chambers, Levi"

"Tch, eager to kick me out, I see" he bitterly said, although you heard the edge of mischief to his tone.

You sighed wistfully, hugging the pillar of your canopy bed as you leaned your head on the cool wood, lips parting to whisper, "Eager to sleep, but never to depart from you"

"So then I'll stay" he declared, to which you shook your head softly.

"I am afraid that simply won't do, you shouldn't be here in the first place and look," you gestured to the ticking arms of the clock, "I've allowed you to stay for too long already."

He grumbled, but removed himself from your sleeping space and stood as well, making little of the distance between you and him. You giggled and swung, anchoring your arms on the pillar and plopping onto the mattress. He ruffled your hair, earning a bristling from you as you waved his hand away. His eyes looked fond when saying, "Get some rest, you shouldn't adapt my sleeping habits"

"As you wish, my Lord" you smiled at the wrinkle in his nose caused by formally addressing him and observed his retreating figure augmenting the space between you. As you wished him a good night, a longing blossomed for the nights you could finally rest beside him, be greeted by him first thing in the morning, and watch him in his most vulnerable state. The click of the door shutting resounded and you crawled into your blankets, the back of your palm falling desolately upon your forehead.

"My, my, what have you done to me?" You wondered aloud in regards to your strange desires as of late. You never would have thought a person could make you long for their presence so much, your heartfelt a painful squeeze when you glanced at the room before you, solitude engulfing you instead of sleep.

Your eyes shut to remove the sight of an isolated space and be replaced by a void of endless black, you turned on your side and adjusted your pillow as you sighed from finally acquiring a comfortable position. However, the gnawing feeling that something didn't sit right loomed in you.

You still felt the unease and guilt from Levi being pushed into a quick marriage. Despite what he had told you, indubitably a partial reason why he'd decided to reveal his reasons was for exactly that, to quell the obvious guilt you felt.

You released another sigh, fingers clutching the duvet. You don't know how long you laid there, or if you'd fallen to sleep at all. It felt as though you kept slumbering and rousing from it in intervals of five measly minutes.

Restlessness reigned over any priority to sleep, ultimately keeping you awake. You sat up with a start, the darkness so deep you saw nothing but were sure of one thing. 

Levi did not deserve this, and you did not feel too ready yourself. Discontent by the recent developments, you rose to your feet and against the tremor in your heart, you solidified your resolve.

You'd push this wedding back as best you could, even if it meant defying the will of your mother.

Navigating through the room you were very well familiar with, you drew the curtains back and beheld the light of the moon as it poured in to illuminate the vicinity.

Your eyes landed on the shawl you'd left on a seat and your feet clad in slippers, carried you to your door.

A soft click indicated your departure, and you prayed to the supreme heavenly figure in the celestial heavens that no wondering maid, or footman, or staff saw you as you made your way through the dark halls.

Emerging from a dark doorway to the balcony on the second floor of the foyer, you scurried to the grand staircase and held your nightgown above your ankles as you hurried down step after step. When you reached the bottom, you followed the wide red stripe of the carpet to another hall, a hall that led to your destination.

Despite claiming to retire to bed, it was no secret that your father these days spent much of his nights cooped up in his office attempting to find some kind of way to salvage the family name from impending financial ruin. He thought only a selected few knew, but the fact is _everyone_ knew, if not then at least _suspected _it.

You released a breath of relief when the dull yellow of the lit candle spilled from the door slightly ajar. Your hand was gentle in pushing against the cool wood, a welcomed sensation in the unforgiving heat of the summer season. When you entered the study, you did not anticipate the scarce presence of your father, in fact, the scarce presence of anyone.

It was only you within the room and you found this a little odd, a quick explanation being that he likely went to fetch himself some water or some kind of other necessity. In the meantime, you decided to wait.

You roamed the study for the millionth time in your 22 years, smiling at the paintings of your family, individual frames reserved for each member and some portraits of the four of you together. With delicate digits, you traced the different collections of trinkets ranging from statues originating from foreign lands to regular items you'd find in the town marketplace.

When you went behind his desk, you anticipated the sight of boring papers as always with ink much too fine to read from a standing distance and within the poor lighting. Instead, you were met with a boring folder, not interesting to even spare it a second more of a glance.

You plopped yourself on the desk chair, arms hanging off the rests as your shawl clung for dear life on the premise of your shoulders. You looked down and looked at you another family portrait, small and quaint on the side of the desk. There was a conch, _the _conch, resting flatly on the wooden surface, its pink, diffused hue appearing coral with the flickering flame of the oil lamp.

The plume pen was always your favorite to admire. You thought anyone holding one immediately would don an appearance of bountiful intelligence and elegance. A heap of parchment paper was beside the ink bottle, envelopes, and wax, as well as the seal with your family crest, neatly arranged in one space.

You finally reached the boring folder once again, bored by the drab gray but curious as to what could lurk beneath the flap. There was a sheet spilling nearly halfway out and you thought it wouldn't hurt to peak. Maybe it would make your opinion on the drab folder a little kinder.

So you snuck a swift glance, skimming the available words, momentarily ceasing your prying when the familiar letters of your name, followed by your last name, were written in cursive lettering from a printing press.

Your brows were drawn towards each other, indicators of the interest in you that had been piqued. You reached over and took the file in your hands. Before opening the flap, you wondered if this was all right. Would it be okay to take a document from your father's study despite it having your name?

Could this be mail or a letter for you that was being intentionally kept from your knowledge? Nails gently rasped against your head in the troubling thoughts. You concluded that if it concerned you, then you should know what the matter was. You would do your best to avoid being caught in the nosey act, this you swore as you perked your ears.

So you gingerly flipped over the flap, seeing first what the first sheet displayed. By the looks of it, it appeared to be some type of formal document. You leafed through the packet behind the one loose sheet and came back to the front page.

Eyes reading over the text.

_By signing this contract, you agree to the legal terms of..._

"Hmm," you hummed through the drawled out bits, finally reaching the center paragraph where your name was concerned and surprisingly, also the name of your sweetheart.

_I_, Levi Ackerman_, __agree to relinquish the requested assets to_,

Odd that it was your mother's name signed instead of your father's, you read on.

_In exchange for the valuable goods provided, it is to the understanding of both parties that;_

And that's where you read it, your name in bold print, nonchalantly staring you in the eye as you read the following words,

** _belongs as property to _ ** ** _ Levi Ackerman _ **

Signed

_ Levi Ackerman _

You read back from the sheer befuddlement elicited after reading so many words. Eyes scanning the same words five times over, each time your blood becoming colder than the last. A shuddering exhale left your lips as you removed the top sheet, coming face to face with the packet of pages.

Located at the top, was in emboldened letters the term,

**CONTRACT**

You as humanly possible scrutinized every last word. Disbelief at the sheer audacity of what these papers entailed. Were your eyes playing tricks on your unsuspecting self, was this a dream?

It felt so surreal, it felt wrong, it just couldn't be.

Levi couldn't have possibly **_bought_** you.

No, there had to be a mistake, you had to have misread, misunderstood. You went through the same papers maybe a couple of dozen times before you were mildly convinced that it truly was that you were sold like some kind of novelty item.

Confused and unwilling to accept it, you pushed the chair back, creating a horrible squeal of the legs against the floorboards. With the source at fault for the addled thoughts in your mind in hand and your other clutching the shall so fiercely your knuckles turned white, you left the room in promptitude.

You walked with desperate celerity, nevermind the possibility of being spotted on your way to your destination.

It was an explanation you wanted, and an explanation you'd get...

You just didn't anticipate it to be from the least likely person at this hour. A body collided into your own, causing you to stumble back in the darkness. You could see the familiar willowy and under these circumstances uneasing, the silhouette of none other than your mother.

The equally perturbing voice of hers sliced through the silence in a crisp, "Well, well, well." You frowned, eyes having adjusted to the darkness and noting the lack of nightwear.

"Have you been the one occupying the study?" You inquired, clutching to your form the file. You saw the twinkle in her eyes as they flickered down to spy the folder in your sturdy grasp.

She smiled sickeningly sweet, "Yes, that was I. But I don't see how that could've been any more wrong than allowing your fiance into your room so late and whilst alone too" she retorted, her words meaning to bait you worked exemplary.

You bristled at this, defensively stating, "We did nothing but talk mother, talk about this wedding you've so persistently urged" you rebuked.

"Oh?" She drawled, "My soon to be son-in-law has no qualms of it, it appears it's only you who's so against it"

You furrowed your brows, hissing out, "My issue does not lay in the fact that I'm marrying Levi, it's because of you! Nothing ever ends well when you meddle, and that is exactly what you've done, I'm justified in fearing for the future of my relationship."

"My naive little girl, you know nothing, I suggest you return to bed before you ruin that pretty face with eyebags" she sang, crossing her arms and undulating her head in mock disapproval. You watched her, unwilling to leave just yet.

With the file in hand, you exhibited it for her to behold as much as the poor lighting would allow. "When you say I know nothing, could it be you speak of this?" You pulled the paper out and shoved it into her face, "I was just on my way to receive an explanation, something I believe you will not give me so if you'll excuse me-"

"And where do you think you're going, young lady?" You yelped as a bony hand hooked onto your upper arm and pulled your body back to where you just had moved from. Her eyes no longer held that patronizing gleam, instead they looked unsettling, dare you say dangerous?

"Give it back!" You demanded as the folder was ripped from your grasp, her breath released in a long sigh.

"What did you see in here, hm?" She asked, wagging the papers in front of your face.

"I know what you've done, I don't know how you managed to get Levi's name on there but don't think for a second that you'll get away with this little scheme of yours"

"Scheme? Scheme you say!?" You were left puzzled by her exhilarated guffaw, incessant laugh after laugh spilling from her lips.

With patience thinning, you kept a surprisingly leveled voice, livid as you were, "I know what you've done. You created this contract as a way to leech off of Levi. I don't know how you forged his signature but know that I am not about to stand for this"

She abruptly ceased her merry laughs, shouting in a whispered voice that displayed the sudden surge of her own anger, "Insolent fool! I forged nothing, the letters there," she nearly stabbed the paper with her nail, pointing to his name, "are written by his own hand. This-" she gestured at the packet of papers, "read by his own eyes too!"

You shook your head, crying out, "You lie! Levi would never. If it may be so that this is written by his own hand, then I will ask why. I'm sure you played some kind of part in pressuring him." Once again as you attempted to brush past her, she grasped this time your hair and hauled you back. You winced in pain, grimacing as her chilly voice slid into your ear.

"You will make no mention of what I am about to reveal to you to anyone ever, it's a secret you will take to the grave-" she said, her eyes narrowed in warning. "You will marry that midget, not because I forced him to through a contract, and most definitely not because you love him. You will marry him because you want to keep your father alive"

Your eyes widened in terror at what her words entailed, darting your gaze to hers as you truly felt like all the blood in your system had frozen. It felt like all the blaze had been subdued and you were left at her mercy, "W-what do you mean by that?"

She chuckled, a sound that only a mad person would make at a moment like this, "Levi will provide the money that will help in paying for your father's medication, I'm sure you're aware of our financial situation that is making it difficult to acquire the medicine he needs. Therefore, in exchange, you'll marry the dwarf. It's a harmless deal that keeps both parties satisfied, I don't see the reason to be so upset"

"Upset?" You wheezed, finding it hard to determine a word that would begin to describe how robbed you felt of your dignity, of your freedoms, of your happiness. "Mother you sold me! Not just to save father, but I saw! I saw all that endless list of goods you'll receive after I marry Levi! I saw the amount of money for your personal use, the terrains, the estates, the valuables!"

"Yes, yes, my honey, but that's just how you make business." She dismissed, you could not believe the passiveness she was treating this situation with. You were overrun by frustration, its sheer presence overwhelming your rational.

"If you think you can get away with this, think twice. Father will hear of your disgraceful behavior, and I _will_ talk to Levi-"

"My dear you will do no such thing because _I_ have already gotten away with it," she said, smiling reassuringly as if she had no care in this world. Unbothered by your gaze of disconcertment, she continued, "Tell your father anything and his poor frail heart will take him before the lack of medication does. As for Levi, I won't have any issues keeping him from you, I'll just marry you off to the next gentleman who offers a better deal"

With your jaw unhinged, all you could manage in a crisis such as this one was to gawk. You could vaguely remember how to speak, the extent of her cruelty stunning you to silence. For how long you stared, you did not know, all you knew was the coursing feeling of desperation replacing the anger and indignation from earlier. You felt your eyes water, choking back a sob.

You dared not cry before her, it'd make you feel weak apart from hopeless. It felt like you'd woken up when you found your voice a dozen seconds after, coarse and edged with a tremble, "How could you?"

Her reply was the nail to the coffin, her single words lathering mud all over whom you believed to be a virtuous man. She looked positively lively, knew the damage her phrase would cause, said finally, "You know I can't turn down a good deal"

It seemed that at the moment, truly, your world shattered into millions of shards, so broken beyond repair that you didn't even attempt to pick up the pieces. You figured if you did, you'd only slice through your flesh and cause yourself to bleed.

With a glance of finality, the woman released her grip on your feeble self and abandoned you in the dark of the night. Her footsteps were lost to the song of the crickets you loved so much, their tune now another intruding noise in your head. Swallowing the lump that'd formed throughout this very unnerving and sickeningly enlightening conversation, you shivered in your thin nightgown and clutched the railing of the stairs.

Her words had battered you, the truth had wounded you, your palm clutched your chest as pain blossomed in the spot. It hurt, hurt so much you wanted it to stop. You wanted to feel nothing as you pathetically crawled up the stairs, visage a picture of pure agony and desolation.

Comfort you'd find none tonight, and perhaps after next week's wedding, never again. It was your dignity that was ripped from you, the clear image of love towards that man now a distorted view for what had been revealed.

How misguided your love had been.


	2. Chapter 2

During the coming of the marrow, nature unleashed its symphony of day. From the birds singing their tune to the sounds of work outside. 

The day was lively, and it seemed that the same mood had possessed everyone in the household. From face splitting grins while shoveling horse excrement, to merry singing while doing the laundry, it was a bright day indeed. 

The happiness did not bleed into you. You sat hunched, still planted in the burrow of blankets with emptiness present heavily in your gaze. 

Sleep did not come easy with a discovery such as the one from last night. It was the same words that had repeated in your head, the same cycle since you arrived to your room.

You recounted the conversation, paused at the moment when she had said nonchalantly that she could not deny a good deal, attempted to find some other meaning behind her words. You could only fathom that her utterings were meant to elicit the idea that Levi had been the one to strike the deal first. 

Her sincerity essentially was at fault for the amount of fright that'd plagued you. You itched to find out, to have the clarification. But you wouldn't be able to lest you wanted her lethal threats to become a reality. 

For now, you'd have to make do with your bearings and try to concoct a cohesive explanation with the very little information in your hands. You slumped further.

Of course, due to the hopelessness you felt at the moment of, you'd fallen for her tricks and made a rash conclusion in the heat of it all. But the longer you pondered, the less you pinned any blame on Levi and more on your mother. 

After all, the hope in you that some kind of explanation salvaged Levi's name was great enough to keep him clean of the mud that your mother had tried to lather him in. It was a completely logical thought that your mother had lied for her obscure reasons. 

In the first place, Levi never liked your mother, it made little to no sense that he'd willingly enter a deal that would prolong the time he'd spend in her presence. In addition, you knew Levi and you knew he would never stoop so low... at least with you. Whatever his business with the military and government was not any concern to you. 

You nodded vigorously, speaking aloud to reassure yourself, "That's right, he wouldn't do this to me. This is all Mother's doing..." You'd reached a point where you trusted Levi and his goodness more than your mother.

With a drawn-out sigh, you stood from bed at long last, as a proper lady you couldn't lounge around like a sloth all day. You began with running a bath for yourself and eventually dressing in one of your simpler gowns. With your headpiece fastened, you left your room and quickly made towards the dining room. 

You were unaffected as you arrived just as everyone had finished. Encountering first was a pair of steely blue eyes questioningly gazing at you. The clock read ten in the morning much to your surprise, you didn't think you had wallowed in your thoughts for so long. 

With a sheepish apology, you sped to your seat and bowed, "Excuse my tardiness, I was... asleep," your innards twisted at the lack of convincing tone, outwardly grimacing as you sat down. 

You knew no one had believed you, the eyebags hanging heavy on your features betraying your claim. Yet no one questioned you or would attempt to contradict you with the denouncing evidence. Your father waved over a maid, requesting a plate for you as you thanked him. 

Despite not seeing his eyes directly, you could feel the concern in his gaze laid upon you. It made you feel worse addled with the feelings of last night's events and revelations. Your mother directed the first words at you, "Good morning my dear, did you rest well? You look awful." 

You glanced from your twiddling fingers under the table to her coy smile, wanting nothing more than to wipe it from her face. You remained leveled nevertheless, "My sincerest apologies for my poor appearance but I'm afraid a chiming cricket kept me up" you lied. She seemed to enjoy this little game of hers which left you with no choice but to play. 

"They are quite nasty little bastards are they not?" Your brother chuckled, looking to Levi in hopes he'd agree. Said man didn't even spare your sibling a glance, instead still keeping his eyes locked on your form. Your brother was a fanatic of Levi, to him your fiance was everything your brother aspired to be. 

In all honesty, you found your brother's admiration a tad awkward. However, it wasn't like you could admit that out loud without damaging your sibling's ego. It was your father's voice which drew you away from your mellow thoughts. 

"We sent Katrina to fetch you an hour ago but you would neither answer nor open. I suggested we let you sleep in. I'm sure all this has been very hard on you as it has been on Levi as well" said your father in a sympathetic fashion. 

You graciously answered, "I am very thankful for your attentiveness father and your wisdom is broad indeed, the haste is taxing but nothing I cannot handle." He seemed for now satisfied enough with your reply, excusing himself from the table shortly after. You didn't mind that he didn't eat breakfast with you,  _ you  _ were late after all and he was a very busy man. Besides, later he would summon you, as he always would when your behavior was unorthodox. With his trusty cane and an impressive curve to his spine, he disappeared past the dining hall doors. 

Your brother spoke up after the exit of the elderly man, "My dear sister," you grimaced at the buttery address, "are you sure it was a cricket and not that embarrassing suggestion of  _ coral _ from last night?" 

_ Oh my goodness-  _ Cue the roll of your eyes behind their lids. What a time to get ridiculously pompous. But again, it wasn't like you could counter with sass such as,  _ "Is that the best you could come up with?" _

Instead;

" _ Indeed _ ," you firmly said, "it was the cricket--as gentle as its psalm may have been--what kept me from sleep" you reassured. It was an empty chair you desired to see in place of your brother, a glance around the vicinity proved the odds were with you. 

You looked to his empty plate and then at the time, frowning in visible disbelief yet silently cheering at what these observations entailed. Exclaiming, you minded the volume of your voice and uttered, "My, my, why look at the time!" After saying this, he too turned to look at the clock and returned with a frown, having noticed what you were planning. With an innocent smile, you said, "Haven't you an appointment with Henderson's lovely daughter at noon?" 

He once again studied the clock and then you, smug you. It was difficult holding back a smirk at the very disgruntled brother of yours. You watched in amusement at the sound of the chair scraping back, his form rising and giving a stiff bow. With equal stiffness and apparent disdain, he said, "I'll be going now, my presence is required elsewhere..."

"That it is" you added, watching the man march away after giving you a fierce glare. You smiled inwardly, tallying your point against him; if your calculations were correct, you guys were neck to neck. Despite your brother's overbearing sucking up to your mother, you still enjoyed the occasional sibling banter. Although it was largely one-sided since you were far above snarky exchanges...that and he had a knack for reporting every insult that left your lips to your mother who would chastise you for 'improper' behavior. 

She always did say it was intolerable that you as a lady, a woman to be precise, engaged in offensive, disrespectful comportment towards your brother who was a dignified man. You could think of a million ways however, of how he was anything but... 

You ate your food while it was yet to cool, enjoying the fulfillment it brought to your previously empty stomach. There was a lack of exchanged words whilst you ate; there wasn't much Levi, you, or your mother had to say to one another. The glances spoke volumes.

When the time had arrived for your mother to leave as well, you maintained your polished manners but the gestures were empty and as cold as your demeanor towards her. Could you offer her any kind of warmth after she'd left you feeling as if frostbite had latched all over your body with your encounter the previous night?

Simply, no. 

She left with that sickeningly sweet, sickeningly condescending grin of hers. Before she exited completely though, she turned to Levi who had been sitting silently and said an infuriatingly patronizing key, "I'd like it if you kept your  _ filthy paws  _ away from my daughter, she's yet to become your wife so any nightly excursions of yours should exclude her wing." 

You frowned at her rude remark, wanting to argue in Levi's defense but it was his reaction that halted you, or rather the lack of. 

Levi didn't answer nor turn his body, but his icy glare was on the scrawny woman as she at long last left with long, confident strides. There was something else on your mind apart from her grandiose exit, another peculiarity that sparked a mixed reaction. 

You were a bit taken aback, considering she was always so persistent in never leaving you two alone. This time, however, you could only assume it was one of her little games. With the recent revelations, did she expect you to accuse your soon-to-be husband? 

When you pondered the inquiry, you found that could not be since you were bound to silence from her very fatal threat, a threat she made and should be very well aware of. So then what was she playing? 

You sighed dejectedly, an action that drew the attention of your fiance. You looked up from your plate into his eyes, one of his brows arched. He likely was wondering about your uncanny behavior this morning, something that was confirmed as he asked, "What's going on?" 

You said the partial truth, "It is merely a passing episode, I'll be through it soon enough..." He didn't seem the least convinced but knew better than to pry. It was these little things that made you happy Levi was your betrothed and not some unnamed duke from the region over. Heaven knows your mother would have already tied you to one of those if Levi had not shown up. 

You were caught off guard as a pair of lips pressed gently to your temple, lost so deep in thought and Levi being a naturally stealthy person was explanation enough as to how he had so silently made his way around the table to you. As his lips drew away from your flesh, you felt a little cold and clutched his coat, tugging him to you.

When your foreheads tapped one another, your eyes opened to gaze into his, mesmerized by the beauty of the stormy blue. With a gentle sigh this time, you offered a small smile, "Just a moment more..."

He remained in place as you basked in his comforting presence. You didn't need him to speak lovely words and spoil you, he was enough himself.

When you released the tension from your fist, he pulled away and gave a ruffle to your simple hair despite the headpiece getting in his way. You knew what he was going to say next, "I have to take care of some things, I'll see you at dinner"

Nodding in understanding, he took it as his cue to leave as uneasy as he had been. You heard the clacking of his shoes echoing down the corridor, leaving you to your thoughts. You agreed that the company had been nice, but how were you supposed to distract yourself from the impending disaster that you were to face sooner rather than later? 

The day had proven to be quite enjoyable with the sun's forgiving rays and the gentle warm breeze that swept by you every few seconds. You were in your garden. Despite its quaint size, it was your favorite outside place to be, specifically the gazebo hidden from plain sight. 

This was where you came to think as you were doing currently... Well, kind of. You were painting a robin perched on one of the vines weaved into the gazebo's railing. It had been sitting still for a good while now and you hoped it would remain just as comfortable in your presence. The last thing you needed was for it to flee while you had an unfinished wing.

So as the breeze drifted by and your robin friend stayed much to your satisfaction, the memory infiltrated all your thoughts once more. You were now level headed and therefore able to steer clear of decisions from hot-headedness. 

Being sold... What did it even mean? Your lips pursed, mixed emotions perceived. You knew not how to act in a predicament like this one, much less treat it. There were so many questions floating around in your mind yet they felt so blurred that they only spurred confusion and frustration. 

After a while of thinking, you realized something. If Levi hadn't bought you as you vehemently believed, then who did she get money from? You felt dread as you imagined Levi's forged signature was just a stand-in for a random noble. What if it had been the Duke of Kocher? Oh, you hated that man and his manners, he certainly seemed like the type that would do this kind of inhumane thing. 

But you took into consideration all the different candidates that fell into the category of demeaning scum bags. It was a broad list indeed, but you knew it didn't make much sense either. Levi wouldn't take a sudden rejection of his marriage proposal and given his wit, he'd eventually figure out everything on his own; your mother surely was very well aware of this. 

So if she didn't sell you to a noble, and if Levi hadn't bought you, what was the explanation for this all. You only realized how truly exhausted this whole ordeal had made you feel when you noticed a rather bright green line streaked across the canvas and running across your robin. 

You sighed, noting the demise of your art piece, "Oh dear..." With your painting now ruined and mood worsened, you left behind the supplies and in your haste, frightened the ave. 

You marched straight into your home and encountered a maid first thing upon entering. Her appearance had her looking as if she'd just chased a wild rabbit and had been whipped by an unforgiving gale. 

Her first words were breathless and desperate to leave her mouth, "M'lady! I have been searching for you all over. Your father requests your immediate presence in his study"

You smiled apologetically, "I see, I will be right over." You grabbed her shoulder gently, "I understand you are fairly new here and want to leave a good impression, but do not wear yourself thin if the task you are assigned is nearly impossible." Not even the seasoned staff could track you down unless they twice did rounds of the entirety of your home. 

"I mean no disrespect, but it is the expectation that I carry out my Master's orders despite how impossible they may appear" she countered.

You didn't want to argue knowing the pending request of your father and thus relented quite quickly, "I see your point, however, go drink some water at the very least. Your current appearance will do you no favor in pleasing my Mother" 

It was harsh but the truth, but thankfully the maid, Jane, understood as much. "I will do so, m'lady. Have a pleasant meet"

"Until next time," you nodded to her quick curtsy and didn't wait to see her disappear towards the servant's quarters. When you came across the study door, it was slightly ajar. You knew you did not need to knock, the door was left open for a reason...

Unceremoniously entering, you stopped at the entrance and glanced at your father behind piles of papers on his desk. "Good afternoon Father. You called?"

"Yes, yes I did," he said without so much of a glance from his current task. He dipped his plume in his ink before offering you a seat that you graciously accepted. "I won't dawdle on insignificant pleasantries," he said quite sternly that it startled you. "Something happened and I'd like to know what it is without any restrained details"

With your eyes downcast, you listened on. "It seems lately, you resemble your mother in how sour your moods are. Tell me, has Levi done you wrong?"

You gasped, jerking forward with a defending key, "No, he's been cordial with me as he has always been..." you settled back into your seat, this time further shrinking into it, "It is merely... merely..." 

"The marriage date correct?" You nodded shamefully at his easy guess. It was almost embarrassing having the entire family witness you with jitters over a binding procedure. 

Your fingers sought to wrap around your arm, rubbing it soothingly in hopes to calm you, "I understand that I should welcome it since it is as normal as breathing, and it is just cold feet as mother would put it... but I'm afraid, papa" you mumbled, a little shy since you last used that kind of name perhaps when you were twelve. 

You didn't anticipate his reply at all, "It is not wrong to be afraid and uncertain of the haste. I always wondered why everyone was so eager to marry someone without truly knowing if they were a tolerable housemate. Your mother I will not speak ill of her, but her beliefs are exempt from my kindness. It is far too common to marry young, budding girls so quickly and such a practice mars them. I didn't want that for you which is why I held it off for so long" 

"And I am forever grateful to you, father, for that." You bowed your head gently. 

He chuckled, "If you want to express your gratitude, you'll give me grandchildren before I the Lord takes me"

"Don't say such grave things father," you stood and walked around his desk, enveloping him in a tight hug. "It may appear that my unrest with this rushed wedding lies in root of Levi. But I assure you that my heart belongs to him and there is nothing that I desire more than to be alongside him. However, you expressed quite well how I feel. I am not concerned with myself being marred, my true fear is elicited by the thought that our love could be marred. I do not want to ever witness us growing apart because of a lack of patience, it's too much to risk if I have to admit"

"Indeed it is, and while I stand with you, my dear, I can also justify the haste if that's what you'd like"

You hummed, "How lovely it'd be if my qualms could be soothed and I could see the convenience of an immediate wedding..." It would be so much easier if you saw it from your mother's perspective, then you'd have no issues with the wedding due in a fortnight. You'd experienced one mind-numbing ordeal already, what was a little persuasive talk now? You shrugged a shoulder, "Very well, do your very best father"

"So you will accept?" You nodded dejectedly, "I am doing this to quell your uncertainties, not because I stand with your mother's ideas. Levi after first meeting you two years ago has spent the last year courting you, that's unheard of in any place around the globe. Any other man would have tried his hand for a couple of months and then moved on to the next option, however, Levi has remained loyal to you and that should speak volumes in itself. He has also sacrificed so much of his time to stay in Merriweather for  _ your  _ sake, his dedication to your relationship is truly admirable and should not be dismissed. You should take into account that you are very dear to him as he is to you. If love is what you have as well as his same dedication, then I do not understand why you feel so uncertain about being tied to him in matrimony. If shared between two people who love each other, marriage is far more beautiful than daunting. And again, I bring up the point that I want grandchildren"

You huffed but stayed silent. You were mulling over his words, feeling slightly guilty now that you acknowledged how much effort and time Levi was and actively is putting into the success of your relationship. He was doing so much and here you were, concerned over what your mother would call silly cold feet. 

"I feel the need to mention," your father spoke up once again, "what you and the boy have is very rare. You should not be careless with such a precious gem, treat it with care rather than holding it with uncertainty. If let go, you will never get one the same"

You didn't say a word, keeping your eyes downcast. After a momentary silence, you sighed, "That sounds awfully daunting. It feels more like I am being frightened into making a choice rather than gently coaxed."

He chuckled along with you, reassuring you that that was far from his intentions. "I will only give you advice that I believe will benefit you. And you said so earlier, I am wise."

"You are indeed, father." You gave a gentle kiss to his temple before departing, halfway out the door, you paused a turned to him, voice gentle and genuine, "Thank you, you have truly enlightened me."

"Farewell, my daughter"

You were walking down the corridor as you were reviewing the facts. 

The wedding was set to take place in two weeks. 

Levi was leaving in  _ four _ weeks. If you didn't become his wife then and he left as an unmarried man then--

You didn't know how often he'd be able to visit you, or if he'd have any time at all when he returned to his estate. He was busy enough here overlooking one of his projects, you couldn't fathom how it'd be when he had to return to overlooking all his projects, on top of that, juggle his commitment to the crown and maintain an entire estate. He would hardly have time for you as a wife and as much as that thought frightened you, the fear that he'd rather altogether not go through the trouble of courting a silly girl like you longer was greater.

You frowned at your dilemma, reminded that he owed you no visits while you were his unwedded partner... for now.

You had to accept to be wedded in a fortnight.

Accepting was the only way to be able to stay with him and ensure he was yours. Your better judgment and gut begged you to return to your initial path but, it was too late, you had already turned on your heel and started for Levi's wing. 

You snuck easily through the empty halls as should anyone find you in this part of the estate, you'd be promptly escorted to your room with the news reported to your parents. You were anxious as you reached a pair of doors, only aware that they were the occupied guest room because you heard two maids discussing the location. 

First, you gave a very gentle, very nervous knock. When approximately five seconds passed with no sign of life behind the oak, you tried your hand at a much louder knock. You bit the tip of your thumb and waited impatiently. You hardly expected to be grabbed by the wrist and pulled in before you could blink. 

You stared ahead with owlish eyes, seeing Levi's face so close so suddenly elicited a blush on your face. Pushing at his chest, you cleared your throat and straightened your back, "That could've been anyone, if grabbed like that they'd get the wrong idea." 

"No one knocks without announcing who they are and their reason unless they don't want to get caught. Who else here fits that description?" He deadpanned. 

Your mouth opened and closed for a few seconds, shaking off your dumbfounded reaction, "Still," you said, running your palms down your skirt, "you shouldn't be so brazen and confident in your assumptions." 

He ignored your indignation and went to his lounging area, taking a seat on the single chair. You in turn, after invited to sit, found comfort in the corner of the love seat. Levi took his tea as you descended to your seat, after a small sip, he looked up sharply, "Well, what is it?" 

He was always blunt but sometimes you wished he wouldn't sound so abrasive, especially at this time of crisis. 

_ Well... crisis is a bit of an exaggeration-- No! It's my future and happiness and relationship on the line here.  _

"I take it by now you are aware of my doubts about our wedding that is to take place two weeks from today." He nodded once. "I wanted to hold it off for longer, but now I realize it is time I put aside my silly doubts and accept my responsibility to my family and you." The words didn't sound right despite being so resolute a few seconds ago, however, you guessed it was just the residue after being uncertain for so long. You thought back to what your father said, "I was not sure I wanted to marry you in the given time frame, but my fears have been quelled because I realized that I cannot be kept from you. I want to call myself your wife and live alongside you, I could not bear seeing you so little if you were to return to your estate."

He arched an eyebrow, eyes closing as he scoffed, "Now you are being foolish." Your eyebrows raised, mouth agape from the surprise of his confession. He set the teacup with a rather crass  _ clink _ and said, "You are my future wife, do you think I'd be so little of a man to neglect you?" You shook your head, "Come," he said, extending a hand which you took rather timidly. He tugged you onto his lap, which you did not struggle against despite the betrayal of your modesty. You leaned your head close to his chest and listened to the dull, rhythmic thump of his heart. "I can't turn a blind eye to all these doubts, if you are not completely certain this is what you desire, then I have no qualms being told so."

You sighed loudly, slumping in his embrace and dared to fiddle with his cravat. You traced the folds, mindful to be not too disruptive of its crisp, sharp appearance. "No, I did not come here to ask you to hold off the wedding. I will not do that anymore because now I'm... certain," you were certain only because of the circumstances," that marrying you is what I want." 

Basking in the tightness of his embrace, you wrapped your arms around his neck and held tightly. For a moment, you could pretend that there was no nagging voice of your conscience, that your father's words truly turned your perspective completely around, and that you didn't feel any kind of pressure. 

All would be well as long as you had Levi, loyal and caring as he was, by your side. The corners of your lips were tugged by a genuine smile, sighing blissfully into the tender display of love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy look who's finally committing

**Author's Note:**

> Did you really think I'd make you wait 18 chapters again (I like to see you suffer but I love you too)? We left off right before the big reveal, it only makes sense the next chapter I upload is about that. Anyway, we are taking a little bit of a different route in this rewrite (take the word "little" with a grain of salt). 
> 
> I know many of you were sticking around just to find out what Levi did so now that you know, I hope you'll stick around until all other mysteries are resolved. Tell me your thoughts, I feel the need to mention that only one person publicly guessed Levi's sin right lmao. Thank you guys for reading, see you next chapter 💜💜


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